I've heard lots of stories about the infamous reverse culture shock where Malaysians with some overseas work experience come home to find that things are done so mind-bogglingly differently that it just leaves you flabbergasted. And I don't mean different in a good way. Duly warned, I headed off into the uncharted territories of the Malaysian job search. I just didn't expect to bump into the first landmines so early in the process.
Landmine #1: The application form
This was completely uncharted territory for me, having never filled out an application form when I was looking for a job in the US. There, the procedure (in my experience anyway) consisted of sending out resumes and cover letters, and if the employer likes you enough, they would call you for an interview. The only form I ever filled out was when I actually got a job and had to fill out a stack of forms a foot high for everything from background checks to a corporate credit card.
Back in Malaysia, however, I find that HR just loves their application forms. While most companies ask you to fill out a form - usually about four pages - when you show up to the offices for the first interview, some companies make you fill out the form before they even decide whether they want to grant you an interview. And I'm not just griping because I hate writing anything by hand. No, these application forms include an incredibly intrusive bunch of questions that are shockingly rude to me. A space for a passport-sized photograph to be attached to the upper right corner of the form is a given. Questions about race, sex, religion, marital status and the names, occupations and contact details of your immediate family members are also standard. Even details about my scholarship amount was not safe. The most shocking form I've come across so far was one for a local investment bank that likes to think they are top of the class - they asked me for my height, weight, eyesight and hearing! And this was for a BANK, not some modelling agency. I might even understand the question if it was for a flight stewardess or something, but even then that would stink of discrimination. In this case, I totally fail to see the relevance of the question and how it would predict my future performance. Seems like discrimination is alive and kicking here at home.
Landmine #2: The interview process
My interviews here have been pretty smooth and definitely professional so far. Nothing completely out of whack. That is until I showed up at that local investment bank. I was a few minutes early, as one should be for these things, and looking all professional in my suit and black leather folder as I was taught to be. The nice receptionist put me in a room with a four-page form, an essay question that I had to answer in 150 words or less, and a personality assessment and told me I had one hour to complete all the paperwork. Fair enough. My first hint that this was a totally unprofessional firm, at least when it comes to the hiring process, should have come from the fact that I was put into a computer lab with writing from the previous lesson that was held there still on the board. But me being a forgiving soul, I didn't think too much of it. Until, of course, I hit the height, weight, eyesight and hearing part of the form. That definitely raised my hackles and even though I filled it out initially, I later blacked out my answers and was planning to tell the interviewer that the form was completely unprofessional.
In any case, I finished the paperwork in half an hour, and went back to the receptionist who told me to take a seat. So there I was, already thinking that they were unprofessional and that they had really poor time management skills. Alotting one hour for that measely bit of paperwork was being waay too generous and it doesn't say too much about the quality of their candidates if that's the average amount of time needed. Nevertheless, I resigned myself to waiting for at least half an hour for the interviewer to show up. Half an hour later, a woman did show up, but she was talking really loudly into her cell, asking someone if she could work for another company before the end of her contract with her current company. Turns out she was the interviewer, who sweetly told me that I would have to wait for another candidate that had arrived before me to finish her interview. When I asked her how long I'd have to wait, she said "oh, about five minutes," but when I asked her how long the interview would take, she told me a little less than an hour.
I waited for ten minutes, thinking that maybe someone else would be interviewing me. Then I asked the receptionist to call HR, who informed me sweetly that "you just have to wait, my dear." At that point, it was 6pm on a Friday, and I'd been waiting for nearly an hour since I'd finished the form. Earlier, HR had told me that I'd be done by 6.30pm. Not freaking likely if I had to wait for the other candidate to be interviewed, and she was only 10 minutes into a one-hour interview. By then I was fuming, both because of the application form and HR's sheer disrespect for their candidates. Sure, they may be a prestigious local bank with talent begging to enter their hallowed halls, but seriously, if you want to attract and retain top talent, talent that you have already screened and think have the potential to join your firm, you DO NOT TREAT THEM LIKE THEY ARE MUD CLINGING TO YOUR SHOE THAT YOU CAN'T WIPE OFF. I was dying to tell the HR lady that "No, MY DEAR, I do NOT have to wait. I'm leaving." But it's never wise to burn bridges. Sigh.
Instead I called for a ride home, and when my ride arrived, I politely told the receptionist that I could not stay any longer, and asked her to inform the interviewer that I was withdrawing from the process. There is no way I could fit into such an unprofessional organisation with poor time management skills and no respect for their candidates anyway.
Still, I'm hoping that HR will call me to ask why I'm withdrawing, in which case I will politely but firmly tell them exactly what went wrong. *rubs hands in anticipation*
Landmine #3: The offer
Having gone through the blatantly discriminatory application process and hopefully professional interview, the desired end goal is of course THE OFFER. But even in this celebratory stage, there are landmines to navigate. Little details like exploitative salaries and bullying tactics to get you to sign your soul over asap and to start immediately, no excuses accepted. God help the candidate that tells the firm that they want to take some time to think about the offer and consider other companies. Seriously, though, why would companies want to pressure someone into signing, only to have them leave two weeks down the line for a better company and a better offer? And I personally know someone who's done this. Isn't it better to simply agree to wait until the candidate is completely satisfied with your offer?
And then of course, there's Landmine #4: Working in Malaysia. But that's a whole different story, one that I haven't explored yet, but one that I'm sure will provide lots of fodder for incredulity. Stay tuned.
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