Do you measure up?

There are a number of things that one should do in order to get a driving license: studying the road rules of the country and passing a written test and learning how to drive the vehicle and passing the practical test are two main concerns. After that, there are annoying details like getting your license renewed every so often and making sure you're up on current laws like compulsory seat belts for the back seat, and maybe getting a chest implant or two while you're at it. 

I read the most hilarious article today about Vietnam considering the implementation of a new law for motorcyclists where their chests must be larger than 28 inches and their weight and height must be above a certain number (and hopefully below too because an obese person on a bike can't be good for anyone). One of the funniest passages:

The average Vietnamese man is 5 feet, 4 inches (164 centimeters) tall and weighs 121 pounds (55 kilograms). The average Vietnamese woman is 5 feet, 1 inch (155 centimeters) tall and weighs 103 pounds (47 kilograms).

Statistics on average chest size were unavailable.

I predict a boom in padded bra sales and chest implants if this law passes. And beware the policemen gleefully patrolling the country with measuring tapes in hand. But what about the men whose manboobs aren't big enough? Will Vietnam be the first to patent the manbra? 

Green Dream

I went to the Mandarin Oriental hotel the other day for an event. It was quite interesting, especially hearing the 2nd Finance Minister insist that we are not having a political crisis and we will not have a recession. Head in the sand?

But I was most excited about a plain black pencil that I found in my folder. But what's so exciting about a plain old pencil? This!

I think it's fantastic that people are finding new, better, and more sustainable ways of creating everyday products. And then I read an article in The Star on Saturday about a local stationery company called O'Bon. Did you know an area of rainforest the size of 20 football fields is cut down every minute, partly to make wooden pencils? Ok, so I know there's a large glaring hole in that statement just waiting to be blown apart, i.e. the word "partly". Who knows, it could be something as insignificant as 0.0001% of those football fields, right? But still, wooden pencils are made out of some trees somewhere, whether it's sustainably harvested or not, so when I read about O'Bon and their pencils made out of recycled newsprint, I was really happy. And these pencils are supposedly better quality too. Director Aaliyah Ng says

When creating wooden pencils, sticks of graphite are inserted into the middle of two blocks of wood and sealed together. This process causes air bubbles to be trapped inside, making the pencil brittle. Our patented process of rolled newspapers creates a very compact environment around the graphite so the lead does not shatter easily.

And best of all, these pencils provide some funky entertainment when you sharpen them

So there you have it. Pencils made out of recycled paper are awesome in so many ways. And it's great to see big names like the Mandarin Oriental getting on the environmental bandwagon. Chapeau! Now where's my pencil sharpener?

Scorned

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but they obviously don't know Malaysian men. Within the space of a month, three cases of lovelorn men taking revenge on their objets d'affection have surfaced with the mildest resulting in a bit of online prankstering and the worst in death. 

It started with the case of 16-year-old Lai Ying Xin, who was kidnapped, put up for ransom, murdered and then burnt in a gruesome crime in September. The main suspect is a 22-year-old man who had apparently been wooing the girl for six months before Ying Xin got fed up and started ignoring his messages and rejecting his calls. The case shocked the nation and was reported in all the major newspapers, including stories on grieving schoolmates and a public funeral announcement.

Then, an 18-year-old schoolgirl was stabbed in the abdomen with an icepick by a classmate before the morning bell in school. In a matter of days, another report surfaced about a college student who had a Friendster account set up in her name, complete with her personal information, which claimed that she was looking for a life partner. Apparently the man responsible has been badgering her for some time to marry him until she lodged a police report against him in December of last year (you go, girl!) but then he resumed his old ways in March, so she lodged another report against him in October. Hopefully this one will do the trick. Do we have restraining orders in Malaysia?

What I don't get is, how do these men think they will get these girls to accept them after these acts of violence and pranks? And seriously, it can't be "love" if the guy is willing to hurt the girl or take revenge on her for not "loving" him back. Don't they always say that if you love someone, let them go? It would make for a great pick up line, though - have a drink with me or I'll stab you in the guts!

All joking aside, with these cases happening one after another in quick succession, it reminds me of something Malcolm Gladwell brought up in his book, The Tipping Point. Apparently in Micronesia, suicides were almost unheard of in the early 1960s but by the end of the 1980s, the suicide rate for males was 160 per 100,000, eight times that of the US. It was so prevalent that it was embedded in the local culture, appearing in songs on the radio and graffiti on t-shirts and walls. One line in a report by anthropologist Donald Rubinstein was especially chilling:

Especially among some younger boys, the suicide acts appear to have acquired an experimental almost recreational element. 

David Phillips, a sociologist at UC San Diego, hypothesizes that just as if you would follow someone who jaywalks while you were waiting at a red light to cross the road, when someone famous commits suicide, 'it gives other people, particularly those vulnerable to suggestion because of immaturity or mental illness, permission to engage in a deviant act as well.' Thus, people who die in highly publicised suicides serve as the "Tipping Point" in suicide epidemics. Case in point, the suicide rate in the US jumped by 12% for a while after Marilyn Monroe's death. 

Back in Malaysia, is it possible that Ying Xin's death and the subsequent media field day has sparked off the recent spate in lovelorn vengeance seekers? Ok, maybe not in the case of the online prankster because that's been going on for months, but could it have prompted the actions of that high school kid with the icepick? Will we see more stories like these in the months to come? Do I risk a switch knife across the jugular if I turn down the next guy who hits on me?

Sales galore

I love coming home to Malaysia for several reasons, chief of which is food, family and the ever-present sales. However, now that I've been home for some time and have been lounging around not doing anything much except going for the occasional interview, the allure of food and the embraces of family has gotten a little, if not stale, then definitely not as attractive as they once were. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I love both equally as much :) Even my sales fervour has died down, since all the stock seems to be the same. 

However, I'm particularly happy this week because there are two huge warehouse sales in town! 

MPH Distributors Warehouse Sale

When : 22-27 October, 9am-7pm

Where : Ground Floor Warehouse, Bangunan TH, No. 5, Jln. Bersatu, Section 13/4, PJ

If you're travelling along jalan semangat off the Rothman's roundabout, turn left after Colgate Palmolive and if you're travelling along Jalan Kemajuan, turn in to the street in between F&N and Nissan 

You HAVE to check this out if you're a booklover. They have stacks and stacks of books at high markdowns. They have little "happy hour promotions" throughout the day and if you're one of the first ten people to bring along the article in Wednesday's Sun newspaper, you'll get a free book. No idea what it is, since I don't leave the house that early. Also, if you bring along the article in Tuesday's Star newspaper (Section 2), you'll get to puchase certain books at even greater prices. Can't remember which ones, exactly, but you'll definitely be able to get Terry Pratchett's Making Money for RM15. And it's the hardcover edition too!

Zara, Massimo Dutti, Pull and Bear Warehouse Sale

When: 24-27 October, 10am-7pm

Where: Dataran Hamodal, No. 4, Jln 13/4

Basically in the same location as the MPH warehouse sale, but a few meters up/down the road depending on which direction you're coming from.

If you're a clothes lover, need I say more? Zara! Massimo! Pull and Bear! Ok I really don't know much about the last two brands, but ZARA! No idea if it's worth going to, really, since I've been to more than a few warehouse sales where the clothes are one step away from the donation bin. But I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Quirk of fate

I was on the train today heading towards the twin towers when at one of the stops, a lady got on pushing a little boy in a wheelchair. He had shrivelled arms and legs, the latter encased in socks and the former wrapped with old towels that reminded me of mittens you would find on a baby. He didn't have the strength to support his own head, so it lolled back and to one side, his mouth partially open. Occasionally, he would twitch and emit a low mewling sound like a kitten in distress. 

I felt so sorry for him. I wonder how he must feel, sitting trapped in that body, unable to fully experience this wonderful thing called life. Sometimes I think it's better to be born that way because it must be the worst thing in the world to have had a completely healthy body, and then to contract a horrible disease or be involved in an accident and then have it all taken away, because then you know exactly how sweet life is and what you're missing. 

By some quirk of fate, I was born into a middle class family in Malaysia. A happy, healthy baby girl. I could have just as easily been born into a starving, poverty-stricken family in Africa or into a war-torn region or even into a silver cradle with my first Ferrari at the age of two. I was lucky enough to have the resources available to me to achieve some of my goals, foremost of which is getting a good education, which then leads to everything else. But what about those poor children who never had enough, who never knew where their next meal were coming from, who had to fight for everything they have, and for whom education was just a dream? 

There are some people who overcome whatever disadvantages of birth they have and achieve unimaginable success and my hat goes off to them. Full respect. But my heart goes out to all the poor disadvantaged children out there who never asked to be born into this world. Life is not fair, not when there are people like that little boy on the train who can't live life to the fullest. 

Home remedies

There are a multitude of home remedies out there that are purported to cure everything from alcoholism to zits. A search for "home remedies" returned nearly four million hits. This, along with traditional Chinese and Indian medicine, seems like the perfect field for a scientist to explore - do these remedies work? How effective are they? Could they be adapted for treatments of other diseases? Is there a way to bottle these remedies or make them into an easily poppable pill? I wish someone would test these theories that are floating around and tell me whether I'm barking up the wrong tree.

Some of the latest theories I've heard of, most of which are currently in practice in my own household, include 

Cancer prevention

Supposedly a soup of equal parts ngao bong, literally "cow tying", radishes and carrots will prevent cancer. Ngao bong is a type of plant, resembles sugar cane, and adds a pleasantly sweet taste to the soup.

Healing wounds

The flesh of the aloe vera plant, rubbed on a cut or burn, is supposed to promote healing, although some studies have shown otherwise. In any case, the jury is still out on this one, but that doesn't stop my mom from slathering the family with the stuff anytime someone gets a cut. 

Swelling reduction

Peptase also known as "that smelly component of vomit and papayas (this guy is hilarious!)", is supposed to help reduce swelling. No, I'm not suggesting you eat your own or *shudder* someone else's vomit. Go for the papayas!

Fighting coughs

A glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice sweetened with honey is supposed to set you straight when you have a cough. I'm currently testing the theory, but haven't noticed much improvement. 

Combating cholesterol

1. The oat challenge

Downing a bowl of instant oats, preferably organic, everyday is meant to lower your cholesterol levels in general and boost your HDL to LDL ratio. My dad did it and it seems to work, although of course it won't send your numbers plunging.

2. Ladies fingers

Eating a few steamed ladies fingers everyday (no dressing!) is supposed to help lower cholesterol levels too. Effectiveness unproven.

I want proof! Does it actually work? Someone needs to do some sort of epidemiological study or whatever it is these things are called and come up with some evidence one way or another.

By the way, has anyone discovered the cure for papercuts yet?

Read Green

Recently, the alumni mailing list that I subscribe to finally proved to be useful. Some environmentally-friendly soul sent an email to the list about this website that's providing a digital magazine service. In fact, they bill themselves as the world's biggest online digital newsstand. They have something for everyone, including Cosmo, ESPN, Business Week and even the TV Guide, although that's not very helpful for someone in Malaysia. Yeah yeah, I know it's nice to flip through a nice solid magazine, but think of all the trees you're cutting down! It's taken me a while to get used to digital flipping, but I think I've gotten the hang of it. 

Try it for yourself. For FREE. Zinio gives you one free magazine subscription to start you off. Check it out today. And trust me, pies have never looked so delicious as when they're on your high resolution screen. Of course I went for the food magazine. I'm Malaysian!

Banking in Malaysia

I finally set up a bank account in Malaysia today after months of living off mommy ATM and daddy card. In my defense, I did transfer some money home when I left the States, so it wasn't exactly like I was sponging off them. Although I think the amountI transferred home was exactly the amount that got put into my new account... Oh well, best not to investigate too throroughly...

I did, however, get a good look at the Malaysian banking sector and I didn't like what I saw. Everything just seems so backward and twenty years behind. Of course you could argue that it's this very backwardness that's keeping us relatively unscathed in today's financial crisis - no loans to people who can't afford to pay it back and all that. But I'm talking about the deposit side of things. 

When you open a savings or current account in a bank, you're lending the bank your money, and you should get paid for that loan in the form of an interest rate. In Malaysia, they do give you some compensation for your loan, but they may as well not bother. For a regular savings account at this particular bank that I chose, you don't get anything if you have less than RM3,000 in the account. Once you break the 3k mark, you get a paltry 0.2% in interest. It's a graduated rate, of course, but at the current inflation rate, I may as well spend all my money on canned food and give some serious thought to building an industrial-sized freezer room for all my groceries for the next ten years. 

Not only do they not compensate you adequately, they also try to milk you for every penny that you own. For starters, they actually expect you to pay to own an ATM card. And it's a yearly fee too! Coming back from the US, where they give you a debit card to go with your order of chai latte, this concept was a little hard to stomach. They also charge you a fee for current accounts. And of course, credit cards, although some banks are wisening up and offering "free for life" credit cards, but only if you spend more than a certain amount per annum. And don't get me started on credit cards. I know the US is paying the price for easy credit, but seriously, can't I get a  credit card without an income tax form? Not even if I show you an offer letter for my next job? And not even if I have a fixed deposit account with your bank? I'm not asking for a high limit. Not to start with anyway. Sigh. 

As for internet banking, as an account holder at this particular bank, you do not automatically have online access to your account. Instead, you have to either register for the service through the ATM or submit a paper form to the branch at which you opened your account. Of course, being too Americanised, I didn't think to ask about it at the bank, so I'll have to go back and set it up. What a hassle. I haven't, obviously, had a chance to use this online banking system yet, but I don't have high hopes for it.

The only nice thing I have to say about the banking system here is that you can have several "tranches" in your fixed deposit account so that if you should ever need to withdraw some money from the account, you don't have to incur the penalty for early withdrawal for the full amount of the deposit. But then again, interest rates for a fixed deposit account here start from 3% so there really isn't much to lose. 

Where are the high interest online savings accounts? No-fee banking? Really cool personalised checkbooks with a large variety of backgrounds to choose from? Debit cards? Credit cards? Sigh, Malaysia still has a lot to learn in the banking department.

Corporate excess

One week-long resort retreat for top sales staff            $442k 

One partridge hunt in England                                      $ 90k

And that's just the small stuff.

CEO bonus                                                                            $5M

CEO golden parachute                                                         $15M

Top executive bonus                                                           $34M

Top executive post-resignation perks                              $1M per month

Sure all this money barely makes a dent into the $85B line of credit extended to this company, AIG, by the Feds, but still, in this day and age, how can they possibly justify all these excesses?

And it's not just corporate America that should be criticized. I know for a fact that a certain local company on a press junket to New York bought something like 15 Broadway seats for six times their face value through the concierge of their hotel. And of course there are little details like flying in first class and staying in expensive suites. 

But maybe I shouldn't be complaining so much since I'm about to join the corporate world of excess too. After all, money makes the world go 'round, right? So someone has to spend it...

Jesse Cook in Malaysia!

Free up your callendars next Thursday, ladies and germs, because guitar legend Jesse Cook will be in town and performing at the Malaysian Philharmonic!

Concert Details

Venue
Dewan Filharmonik PETRONAS
Kuala Lumpur City Centre

Orchestra / Conductor / Soloists 
Jesse Cook guitar

Ticket Prices
Premium: RM140, A Reserve: RM100, B Reserve: RM60, C Reserve: RM40

Box Office Hours
Mondays to Saturdays:10.00 a.m. – 6.00 p.m., 9.00 p.m. on performance nights

Sundays: 12.00 noon to performance time

Telephone Bookings: 03 - 2051 7007 Fax Bookings: 03 - 2051 7077

E-mail Bookings:dfp_boxoffice@petronas.com.my 

Dewan Filharmonik PETRONAS / MPO website:
www.malaysianphilharmonic.com

I've been a fan ever since I discovered his flamenco rhythms when I was in LPC. Being part of an international community can really widen your horizons :) I used to listen to his music obsessively before I found my next craze. I'm in between crazes at the moment, so now might be a good time to rekindle my romance with Jesse. Anyone else want to come with me?

Bizarro

I read an article the other day about this group of friends debating which side of the world, East or West, was more bizarre. If we were to compare countries however, I think Malaysia would easily win the Most Bizarre Country award. Yet another tropy for Malaysia's Guinness World Records shelf. I mean we already have the award for the first space participant, tallest twin towers, longest teh tarik pouring, most number of kite flying and probably biggest pancake or something equally silly, so what's another Record?

Here, in no particular order, are the top five reasons why Malaysia should win the Most Bizarre Country award. 

1. Malaysian Bigfoot

The Himalayas have their yetis, Scotland has the Loch Ness monster and the Americans keep claiming they have found the mysterious Bigfoot. But Malaysians know that the real bigfoot is right here in Malaysia, Johor to be exact. In fact, the government has even launched an official enquiry into the issue. Evidence of the elusive bigfoot has been hard to find, however, even though the Malaysian Nature Society has been throwing their resources into finding this mythical beast in hopes of promoting eco-tourism. 

2. Teapot religion

L. Ron Hubbard may have come up with Scientology, the "religion" that purports that man is a "Thetan" or immortal spiritual being that is trapped on earth in human form and subject to a series of mental implants to keep him manageable, but Malaysia has it's very own Ariffin Mohamad, better known as "Ayah Pin" or the creator of the giant teapot religion. 

Ayah Pin's Sky Kingdom, established in Terengganu, consisted of a large yellow umbrella, a representation of Noah's Ark, and a two-storey high concrete teapot, which symbolised the purity of water. Founded in 1975, Ayah Pin claimed that he was a reincarnation of the gods of Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity and Islam. He managed to amass thousands of followers from as far as America and Australia before the authorities got fed up of what they termed as his deviant teachings and razed the whole shebang to the ground in 2005. 

3. Jeweled toes

So what if other countries can get tears from a statue? Malaysia has Siti Suhana Saadon, who can produce colourful crystals from her toes. Apparently her toe nails obligingly open up to spit out these stones before sealing themselves back up. I wonder how much these stones are worth? And maybe she can diversify by spitting them out of her fingertips too, then she'd have enough of the things to start a handicraft shop perhaps!

4. Four eyed meetings

In the recent heated political climate, our PM and DPM seem to be having a lot of these meetings to discuss the fate of the nation. E.g.

Friday, 9/26 in The Star: 

The (supreme council) meeting took place between 1am and 3am on Tuesday. That same evening, Abdullah and Najib had a four-eyed meeting.

Tuesday, 9/16 in The Star:

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi had a four-eyed meeting with his deputy Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak for more than four hours to discuss the country's present political situation, including the Umno transition plan.

Presumably it means they're having a private meeting (2 people = 4 eyes), but who knows? In this nation, anything goes.

5. Alternative treatments

Last but not least in my case for Malaysa Most Bizarre is the latest fad in alternative treatment - beating it out of you. Whatever it is you want to be treated for, be it asthma and liver problems or you just want to quit smoking, the Al-Arqam group has the answer. Malaysian couple Mohamed Ibrahim Kader Mydin and Rosina Mydin Pillay were recently bludgeoned to death with helmets and broomsticks by their family members after their nephew, an Al-Arqam member, convinced them that this "ritual cleansing" was the solution to all their problems. Admittedly the treatment doesn't seem to have a high survival rate, but hey, it's certainly effective - at least the guy isn't smoking anymore, right?

Reverse culture shock

I've heard lots of stories about the infamous reverse culture shock where Malaysians with some overseas work experience come home to find that things are done so mind-bogglingly differently that it just leaves you flabbergasted. And I don't mean different in a good way. Duly warned, I headed off into the uncharted territories of the Malaysian job search. I just didn't expect to bump into the first landmines so early in the process.

Landmine #1: The application form

This was completely uncharted territory for me, having never filled out an application form when I was looking for a job in the US. There, the procedure (in my experience anyway) consisted of sending out resumes and cover letters, and if the employer likes you enough, they would call you for an interview. The only form I ever filled out was when I actually got a job and had to fill out a stack of forms a foot high for everything from background checks to a corporate credit card.

Back in Malaysia, however, I find that HR just loves their application forms. While most companies ask you to fill out a form - usually about four pages - when you show up to the offices for the first interview, some companies make you fill out the form before they even decide whether they want to grant you an interview. And I'm not just griping because I hate writing anything by hand. No, these application forms include an incredibly intrusive bunch of questions that are shockingly rude to me. A space for a passport-sized photograph to be attached to the upper right corner of the form is a given. Questions about race, sex, religion, marital status and the names, occupations and contact details of your immediate family members are also standard. Even details about my scholarship amount was not safe. The most shocking form I've come across so far was one for a local investment bank that likes to think they are top of the class - they asked me for my height, weight, eyesight and hearing! And this was for a BANK, not some modelling agency. I might even understand the question if it was for a flight stewardess or something, but even then that would stink of discrimination. In this case, I totally fail to see the relevance of the question and how it would predict my future performance. Seems like discrimination is alive and kicking here at home.

Landmine #2: The interview process

My interviews here have been pretty smooth and definitely professional so far. Nothing completely out of whack. That is until I showed up at that local investment bank. I was a few minutes early, as one should be for these things, and looking all professional in my suit and black leather folder as I was taught to be. The nice receptionist put me in a room with a four-page form, an essay question that I had to answer in 150 words or less, and a personality assessment and told me I had one hour to complete all the paperwork. Fair enough. My first hint that this was a totally unprofessional firm, at least when it comes to the hiring process, should have come from the fact that I was put into a computer lab with writing from the previous lesson that was held there still on the board. But me being a forgiving soul, I didn't think too much of it. Until, of course, I hit the height, weight, eyesight and hearing part of the form. That definitely raised my hackles and even though I filled it out initially, I later blacked out my answers and was planning to tell the interviewer that the form was completely unprofessional. 

In any case, I finished the paperwork in half an hour, and went back to the receptionist who told me to take a seat. So there I was, already thinking that they were unprofessional and that they had really poor time management skills. Alotting one hour for that measely bit of paperwork was being waay too generous and it doesn't say too much about the quality of their candidates if that's the average amount of time needed. Nevertheless, I resigned myself to waiting for at least half an hour for the interviewer to show up. Half an hour later, a woman did show up, but she was talking really loudly into her cell, asking someone if she could work for another company before the end of her contract with her current company. Turns out she was the interviewer, who sweetly told me that I would have to wait for another candidate that had arrived before me to finish her interview. When I asked her how long I'd have to wait, she said "oh, about five minutes," but when I asked her how long the interview would take, she told me a little less than an hour.

I waited for ten minutes, thinking that maybe someone else would be interviewing me. Then I asked the receptionist to call HR, who informed me sweetly that "you just have to wait, my dear." At that point, it was 6pm on a Friday, and I'd been waiting for nearly an hour since I'd finished the form. Earlier, HR had told me that I'd be done by 6.30pm. Not freaking likely if I had to wait for the other candidate to be interviewed, and she was only 10 minutes into a one-hour interview. By then I was fuming, both because of the application form and HR's sheer disrespect for their candidates. Sure, they may be a prestigious local bank with talent begging to enter their hallowed halls, but seriously, if you want to attract and retain top talent, talent that you have already screened and think have the potential to join your firm, you DO NOT TREAT THEM LIKE THEY ARE MUD CLINGING TO YOUR SHOE THAT YOU CAN'T WIPE OFF. I was dying to tell the HR lady that "No, MY DEAR, I do NOT have to wait. I'm leaving." But it's never wise to burn bridges. Sigh.

Instead I called for a ride home, and when my ride arrived, I politely told the receptionist that I could not stay any longer, and asked her to inform the interviewer that I was withdrawing from the process. There is no way I could fit into such an unprofessional organisation with poor time management skills and no respect for their candidates anyway. 

Still, I'm hoping that HR will call me to ask why I'm withdrawing, in which case I will politely but firmly tell them exactly what went wrong. *rubs hands in anticipation*

Landmine #3: The offer

Having gone through the blatantly discriminatory application process and hopefully professional interview, the desired end goal is of course THE OFFER. But even in this celebratory stage, there are landmines to navigate. Little details like exploitative salaries and bullying tactics to get you to sign your soul over asap and to start immediately, no excuses accepted. God help the candidate that tells the firm that they want to take some time to think about the offer and consider other companies. Seriously, though, why would companies want to pressure someone into signing, only to have them leave two weeks down the line for a better company and a better offer? And I personally know someone who's done this. Isn't it better to simply agree to wait until the candidate is completely satisfied with your offer?

And then of course, there's Landmine #4: Working in Malaysia. But that's a whole different story, one that I haven't explored yet, but one that I'm sure will provide lots of fodder for incredulity. Stay tuned.

What else is there to do but laugh?

I dread waking up in the morning only to have the front page of the newspaper blare out its message of doom and gloom, both in financial markets around the world, and in the local political scene. It's hard, sometimes, to see the lighter side of things. But when the situation gets this bad, and is only going to get worse, what else is there to do but laugh?

Thanks to Tyng Yng and Ana for the pictures and video :)

The Last Laugh - George Parr - Subprime

It never rains...

... but it certainly storms cats and dogs and the odd whale here in Malaysia. 

I was in Sydney when they told me that the visa fell through, and there were no openings in the other global offices. (I still have to fight the urge to say "our" even though I've been looking at other companies for some time. Perhaps the first company is like a first love; they make such deep impressions that you can never really forget about them?) 

Anyway, I spent the whole of August spamming companies in Sydney with my resume, begging for a job. I'd like to think that they put me in the reject pile immediately because of my address and not because of a lack of skills. In any case, it was a humbling, enery-sapping experience. It wasn't long before I set my sights on Singapore, thinking that my chances of finding a job there would be higher, but still no luck. WhenI got desparate enough, I resigned myself to working at home in the land of long working hours and low pay. 

The first interview I went to was with a small boutique consulting firm. They offered me a job the same day but for a salary more than six times lower than my previous drawn pay. It is an indication of how desparate I was at the time that I even considered the offer. Only my parents' outrage at what they considered the firm's exploitation of their daughter made me turn it down. 

After that interview, I didn't hear back from anyone for about two weeks and I was getting very anxious, wondering if I'd made a mistake to turn my first offer down. What if it was my only offer? 

But then, as these things go, a friend introduced me to a friend who introduced me to Chen Chow, the most awesomely connected person I know. He passed my resume on to his friends and before I knew it, I'm getting calls from everywhere. I've since learned that if you go through the normal application process here in Malaysia, your resume will end up in some HR pile somewhere and your chances of getting someone that matters looking at your resume is slim to none. But if you pass it on to someone that matters, particularly someone who would like you working for them, then you get a call the next day. And it's THE SAME RESUME. So it's as much about WHO you know as WHAT you know. So much for meritocracy :(

That said, it's only an interview or four, and there are no guarantees that I will win my battle with my nerves and I might just flunk the case miserably anyway. But there's still a glimmer of hope. And the calls and my rapidly-filling callendar are definitely ego boosters. Thanks, Chen Chow, for all your help and support :) 

Now the challenge is to see 

• Whether I can convert these interviews into offers
  
• How long these companies are willing to wait for me to make my decision and, more importantly, 
• What I will do if the companies aren't willing to wait and I'm still chasing the whale. 

Thoughts?

Woe is me

I wander around the house aimlessly, eyes drifting vacantly as I search for something to occupy myself. Soon my hands start to shake. At these moments, I pet my dog, who is convinced that there is something hiding underneath the fridge. I switch the tv on, flick from channel to channel, and switch it off again. Then I start to wander again, inevitably ending up at the fridge, where I reach for yet another piece of chocolate or cake or pie.

Ok so I might be exaggerating but I am seriously starting to lose my mind. My access to the world has been cut off. My lifeline, my entertainment, my connection with friends and loved ones.

Need I spell it out?

MY INTERNET IS DOWN

Woe is me and beware the hapless technician who will come to tell me that they need another two business days to fix the problem. I know it's wrong to shoot the messenger, but I am beyond morals now.

Never get between a net addict and her internet, or else I will trample you like a hippo will someone who comes between it and water. You have been WARNED...