Bar joke... or is it?

You know those lame bar jokes with animals in them? Like this one:

A centaur walks into a bar and sits next to an attractive woman.
"You look a lot different than most of the men who come here," said the woman to the centaur.
"I guess you could say that," the centaur replied. "I'm half-man, half-horse."
"Well, I wish my husband were more like you," said the woman. "He's a total jackass."

Well if you're a Tyneside local named Peggy, you might get the last laugh. Turns out Peggy, a 12-year-old horse, has been enjoying the occasional pint and packet of crisps along with her owner at the local pub. Until the landlady kicked her out, that is. Her reason? The horse might ruin her new carpets, although she's a lot cleaner than some of her other regulars! Poor Peggy can only watch through the window now.

Labels

Fat Thin Anorexic Obese Ugly Pretty Cute Sweet Bitch Jerk Smart Dumb Idiot Mensa

Heartbreaker Casanova Joelizer

Disabled Special needs Wheelchair bound

Slut Stud

Migrant Bumi 

Chinese Malay Indian Black White Brown Yellow Nigger Chink Paki RACIST Young Old Senior citizen Wet behind the ears AGEIST Male Female Trannie SEXIST 

Unemployed male DEAD BEAT DAD Unemployed female HOMEMAKER

I'm tired of labels. Open your eyes and look beyond the stereotypes.

Illicit sex? Yes, please!

Zul Hassan, Perak Tengah district councillor, has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Or the honey jar, as the case may be. Looks like some guy tried to blackmail Zul, who's facing a corruption charge, saying that he has pics of him having sex with a Chinese national. But Zul wasn't standing for that, so he reported the guy to the ACA. And the best part? His defense was, and I quote:

What is important is that we did not ask for the women. He supplied them to us. If people sedekah (give), don't you want to accept the sedekah?

Fascinating logic, Zul. So is it then alright for the nice traffic cop to accept some money from the guy he pulled over just because the driver sedekah-ed it too? How about this scenario - if I sedekah-ed you some bull's penis or monkey brains, which are considered a delicacy in some parts of the world, would you have accepted that too?

The part I can't figure out is, if the Chinese national was a bribe, which was obviously accepted, isn't he as guilty as the other guy under corruption laws? Perhaps he's learning from his mistakes and turning over a new leaf? Hmmm....

In other news, can you believe that Sanlu, that Chinese milk company knew about the tainted milk since December of last year and didn't do anything about it?? The people responsible should be slapped behind bars and made to drink nothing but their milk formula for the rest of their lives.

One ticket to Sydney, please!

Sydney, land of the great Opera House and the Coat Hanger bridge. Or is it? Maybe you'll see a Big Ceilidh Fiddle instead.

Turns out some people wanting to visit the bustling Australian city have been visiting another Sydney instead. Like the Argentinian and two British would-be tourists who ended up in Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada, where the only attraction is that fiddle. Pay attention, people! Cambridge, Mass, and Cambridge, UK are both college towns, but in very different places. And let me tell you, Melbourne, Arkansas, Melbourne, Florida, and Melbourne, Derbyshire, are very different from Melbourne, Australia. Ah, the perils of online flight bookings.

Of books and libraries

My parents recently joined a new club. When I first heard the news, I started dreaming of going there for the occasional swim and perhaps using the gym. That was until my mom told me that being over 18, I'm not allowed to use any of the club's facilities as my parents' guest until they become fully-fledged members in two years' time. So there went my dreams, rudely burst like so many pin-pricked helium-filled balloons.

Because of this, I was determined not to be impressed by the club and its facilities when we went for lunch today. Until we came across the library. It's a small, cosy library, filled with mostly old and fraying books. I loved it, though. I have very strict criteria by which I judge any bookstore or library that I come across. If the establishment doesn't meet this criteria, I view it as a dismal failure and will only grudgingly go there if I have no other option. And what is this criteria? Whether they have books by Terry Pratchett, and whether they have comfy armchairs.

What? I didn't say they were particularly profound criteria.

This particular library had half a shelf dedicated to Terry. They don't have his complete works, but they do have a respectable amount of his books. As bonuses, I also found some by Robin Hobb and Eoin Colfer although they didn't have any by Robert Asprin. So I borrowed three books, including one of Terry's. I've read them all, but his gems are always worth another read or four. Me happy :)

One of these days, when I finally settle down somewhere, I will start collecting his books. Thanks, Pegs, for starting my collection :)